blue room

…that no matter how good am I at Math (or anyone for that matter), some things just don’t add up!

Yeah, life sucks sometimes.

 We have a new hobby in the office these days. It’s playing the keyboard (not the one with the letters on it, the one that plays beautiful music when properly used). Well, it’s more like learning how to play the keyboard. Sir Carlo is our mentor and we do it every vacant time.

It started with me, Sir Carlo and Ma’am Jen talking about our experiences wi th music in church. It turns out we have something in common: we play music in church. I am an organist, Sir Carlo is a bassist, and Ma’am Jen is a singer (worship leader). We talked about the differences (in terms of how music is used in services) in our churches yet one thing is common: how much we love music. Sir Carlo then suggested that I bring my keyboard to school so we can “jam”. And I thought, why not? I have always wanted to learn how to widow play coz being an organist in church confines me to playing the music sheets. I can play the notes of worship songs in church quite well, but I can’t play popular songs. I want to learn the chords on the keyboard and widow to make me more versatile and so that it’s easier to jam with other music people. I thought it was gonna be easy. I was wrong. I realized I’m way too dependent on music sheets and it makes me too technical with my approach. Widow playing is more like freestyle, it gives you a lot of freedom to choose what keys to strike. I really really want to learn that. What makes it even more difficult is the fact the I’m not that musically inclined. I have yet to practice listening to music. I can hear it but it’s not so easy to actually listen. Well, it might be difficult but I know I can do it.

I’m feeling all hopeful today even though these days are some of the lowest days I can remember. I don’t know, I kinda feel numb. Pressure is all over me these past weeks, not to mention all other “issues” I have to deal with. Everything is just exhausting physically (I haven’t had a decent sleep since ages ago), mentally, emotionally, etcetera, etcetera…BUT, I know everything is gonna be alright soon. I will be back to my own joyful carefree contagiously cheerful self in no time. I have a God who is all-powerful and ever-loving. He will lift me up. What I’m feeling now is what He allowed to make me appreciate the good times even better and to remind me that He will never leave me. My life’s formula is:

me^God = infinity

(me raised to the power of God equals no limit to what I can do)

P.S.
Before I finished posting this entry, I went to the restroom to do my thing. When I entered, two girls were there giggling in front of the mirror. It seems they were doing something before I came. While I was doing my thing inside the stall, the two girls outside started singing “Total Eclipse of the Heart” as if they’re in a concert. The were singing the “turn around…blah blah…turn around…blah blah” lines very heartily like they don’t care whoever listens. And they have really nice voice too. It really made me smile; I wanted to laugh out loud. Thank God for tickling me.